Should you Toss the Bouquet and Garter at your wedding?

Let’s look at this Wedding Tradition a little deeper…

You see this wedding tradition at so many weddings – it just seems customary. The question is should you include this at your wedding reception or choose your own wedding traditions. Let’s look at the history and maybe a few alternative options, if you’re not sure you want to keep or toss this one.

Tossing the bouquet

Hundreds of years ago, it was thought to be very good luck to touch the bride. Over the years, this act of distraction has turned into a tradition for the bride to pass on her good fortune to one single lady. Whoever catches the bouquet at a wedding reception is thought to be the next lady in line for marriage. Today, brides relish the moment when she unknowingly chooses who will follow in her footsteps. While catching the bouquet is thought to bring good luck to women, the garter offers the same tradition for the men.

Tossing the garter

Tossing the bride’s garter is an old tradition. Long ago, the bride and groom had to show proof of their wedding consummation. In order for it to be proven, it was common tradition to have people like family and friends come into the room with the couple. Witnesses would obtain the garter as “proof” of the consummation. In some cultures, the men stand and wait for the garter to be tossed. Other cultures, they actually compete for it. Men may compete for the garter in a foot race or by horse, clearly a medieval practice. Today, we have the traditional garter toss, which is meant to bring good luck to the man who catches it. Like the single lady catching the bouquet, he is said to be the next one to marry.

So….. the question is do we keep it or well, toss it?

Many guests will expect it, especially those of older generations. Like the Maid of Honor and Best Man speeches, the toss is likely to be a favorite for some of your guests. Eliminating it may come as a surprise. Since both older and younger wedding guests will be familiar with the toss, this tradition may help bridge generation gaps and ensure everyone enjoys your reception.

Another great reason to toss – it’s an awesome photo op. All of your single friends in wedding guest attire, dive bombing the bouquet as it lands in the hands of a single lady. For the men, at first, they will act all cool. Then competition mode kicks in, all the while fighting over the garter catch. You will have photos and videos with all the laughs and screams as the bouquet and garter are tossed toward the single wedding guests.

This wedding tradition is a great way to get the single friends out of their seats, either to catch or snap photos. It can liven up the party and be a memorable activity for your reception.

Should you forego it, here are some alternatives:

Pass the Torch

Present the bouquet to either the couple who has been married the longest or present it to a couple getting married soon to bring them luck and well wishes.

Toss only

Take out the awkward moment of fishing for the garter under the bride’s dress and toss an extra one that no one has been wearing. Parents and grandparents may sigh a huge relief and the picture below explains it all. At the wedding pictured below, all of the single men actually turned their heads away, while the groom reached for the garter. No further explanation needed here.

Breakaway Bouquet

Several mini bouquets or single flowers loosely tied together is called a breakaway bouquet. Toss this bouquet to all female guests – not just the single ones. It will be a nice twist to the wedding tradition when you toss it and separates in to several pretty pieces flying towards the group.

Nip it in the bud

When it comes to wedding traditions, today’s couples are forgoing these two more often than cutting the cake, first dance, etc. You get to decide and whatever you choose, will help make your special day uniquely YOURS!

Now off to the best wedding tradition… the honeymoon – which is definitely a keeper!

Photography Kim Hargrove

HAMU Kelly Valente

Venue L&L Farm